Some post binge reflections

I woke up on the lounge with a terrible gut ache and a strange greasy aftertaste. In front of me, my computer screen flickers with a half-written sentence waiting to be finished. ON the table next to me lies an empty packet of chips…

For a couple weeks now I have stuck to my training plan and ticked off clean eating off my list every single day, only to binge on a family sized packet of nasty cheese corn chips last night! Not only is this the ultimate calorie bomb (nearly 500 cals) but it is also loaded with fats and salt. I felt like I have undone all the good work! The bingeing sort off caught me off guard: I thought I had steeled my will enough and cleaned my system enough to withstand any temptation and craving. And as you can imagine, I find myself feeling baffled and guilty as hell the morning after.

Hang on, why did I even have a chips in the house in the first place? 

I bought them a while ago, thinking they’d be healthier alternative to Nachos chips. My family loves Nachos and we’ve been trying to look for ways to make them “healthy”. So far we’ve omitted the sour cream, stuck to vegetables and kidney beans, made the salsa from scratch… but we haven’t been able to source healthy chips. Granted, you can sub the chips with toasted pieces of pita bread, but it ain’t the same, you know! So, we thought, at least this one’s organic and overall has less fat and less salt than the regular variety. So I have a perfectly justified reason to have them in the pantry, right? However, one packet would yield 5 serving of Nachos, so clearly they were not meant to be scoffed down at once! But somehow last night, I found myself wandering to the pantry… and the rest is history.

Which leads me to the question: Why do I binge? 

I have a history of bingeing high carbs, sugary food. Throughout my adolescence and adult life I have known to have binged on all sorts of foods. From fruits to cookies to ice cream. I think the only food I didn’t binge on is raw vegetable (bingeing on carrots, imagine how happy that would have made my mum!). I have been chubby for most of my life because of that. In recent years, I have recognized the root causes of my bingeing: the emotional issues that led me to seek comfort in food. And I believed I have addressed most of it. And I try to address the bit self-doubt. self-hating-lack of confidence that remains within me on a daily basis.

With my husband being away and uni assignment deadlines banging right on the door, emotional eating could explain last night’s bingeing. But running would mostly help me deal with that. Running clears my head and preps my body for a good sleep. That’s how it’s been all along. Okay, I know that running may not have eliminated all emotional distress from my life. In the end I have to accept that emotional eating might be part of it. But what makes up the other parts?

Could it be something else?

Could my body be craving for carbs and fat because I wasn’t refueling correctly? I completed my long run (15km) a few hours earlier and because I had to rush for childcare pick up, I only drank water and that was it. I don’t refuel during my run; I just haven’t mastered the art of taking bars or gels during a long run (something that I have to think about). Another reason why I only took water was because I already ate all the sultanas I had brought from home for my refueling purposes! I decided to have them as my snack instead of leaving them for later!

On the taxi ride home (I felt too weak to catch the bus with my wriggly little miss), I could feel nausea and headache settling in, and was cursing myself for eating those sultanas. I continued feeling horrible (on top of that felt really bloated), even after arriving home and downing a handful of sultanas, a big bowl of quinoa and chili and drinking lots of water.

Naturally, I had sore muscles all over. Curiously, massaging the pressure points made me burp! In Indonesia, old wives’ tale would say that you have ‘wind’ in your body. Some  say it is equivalent to ‘catching a cold’ in English. And that might be true in my case. Because I was rushing to get little miss out of childcare, I didn’t have the time to change, and was wearing my sweat soaked top underneath my puffer jacket. Cold and sweat for extended time just don’t mix.

Does feeling horrible justify my binge? Probably not but it might suggest that my body was craving the stuff present in a packet of chips: Carbs and Fats. By not refueling properly, I may have plunged my body into starvation mode, where it would seek to stock up on these survival essential nutrients as much as possible as the next best opportunity. Also, by thinking that I might be ‘catching the cold’, I might have amped up that urge to binge on carbs and fats, thinking that my body needs them to ward off the cold (when actually a hot cuppa and early sleep would have sufficed).

The Aftermath

So it has now become clear to me that a combination of factors have set off this highly regrettable incident. Lessons learned here:

1. Don’t keep food in the house that you will regret eating; 

2. Have a refuel strategy for ALL workouts; 

3. Eat mindfully! Don’t treat your body like a trash can. 

That leaves me with a question: What should I do post-binge? Should I “punish” myself and work extra hard today, in the hopes to “burn off” those calories? That is the thought that immediately entered my head. The answer to that is a big and resounding NO. I believe that I need to separate the idea of food as a treat or reward, and equally so, I need to separate the idea of exercises as a way of punishing myself.

The reason for this is that that kind of thinking makes for an unsustainable lifestyle to begin with. Food should be seen as vital and essential to life, not a reward for being good, the same goes for exercising, it’s something you have to do to stay alive, not a punishment for being bad (and not something you can forego because you’ve been ‘good’). Also you dig deeper into the emotional trap that has led to your bingeing at the first place.

Some suggest detox after a binge. That may be a good idea, except that most of us would go to the extreme and detox in such a manner that is expected to ‘purge’ the bad food from the system. I would do a mild detox, hoping to flush it out of my system earlier and get rid of the bloated feeling. But keep in mind that there is only so many things you can flush out. The carbs and fats will stay in your system. In the same manner, starving yourself the next day also doesn’t have, as it would make you crave for more later!

Therefore, the best thing to do after a binge is to acknowledge your mistake, learn from it, let go of any guilt that might have emerged out of it, and move on with your life (including clean eating and training plans) as usual. To a clean and lean weekend!

Do you binge? Why do you binge? Do you have some post-binge tips on your own? 

 

Quinoa, my new favorite superfood!

I’ve just recently “discovered” a new food love. Seriously, I love it so much, I could have it for breakfast, lunch and dinner!

Breakfast: Quinoa with natural yogurt, mixed berries and a dash of cinnamon. Yum!

Quinoa, pronounced keen-wah, may look like a grain, but is actually the seed of a leafy vegetable that is related to beets, chards and spinach. But the texture and taste of puffed quinoa, creamy with a bit of crunch with a slight nutty flavour, makes it a perfect substitute for breakfast cereal and rice. Apart from the hint of nuttiness, it is bland and thus absorbs spices and flavour rather well. But the best part is its nutrition content. It is packed with amino acids, magnesium and fibre. In terms of protein, quinoa is particularly fantastic for vegetarians such as (moi!) because the protein contains in quinoa is that of all nine essential amino acids! Quinoa has a muscle relaxing effect due to its high level of magnesium. Combined with its high iron and folate content, quinoa makes the perfect post run meal. Finally, the high fibre keeps your digestion and life clean and healthy.

As part of the ‘goosefoot’ seeds family, quinoa is native to the heights of South America. The ancient Inca people, known for their endurance, were among those who had quinoa as their staple, before that custom, along with the cultivation of this “grain” and its quinoa-eating civilization were siped out by the Spaniards. Quinoa was fabled for being a ‘gift from the gods’ bestowed by a mythical bird upon the Incas. Given its nutritional properties, I must this mythical status might well be justified!

I don’t know why more people (read: runners) aren’t eating quinoa, given that it may be the most nutrition packed source of carbs. And I’m not talking about the likes of Scott Jurek. I mean runners I know in person, they are scoffing down white rice & white pasta instead. Ok, to be fair, this was me, too, before I got intrigued by Scott Jurek’s tweet about his favorite ish being quinoa with tmpeh and Indonesian almond sauce. I was previously hesitant of trying out quinoa but at that point decided to give it a go. While the most popular type of quinoa is a transparent yellow color, other varieties feature colors such as orange, pink, red, purple or black. I used white quinoa of the Macro Organics range that I got from my nearest Woolies (and if it’s in Woolies, then it means that it is widely available here in Australia, yay!). Apparently the darker varieties have stronger nutty flavour. And although it may be difficult to find, but I read that the leaves of the quinoa plant are edible, with a taste similar to its green-leafed relatives.

Lunch: Quinoa with oven-grilled tempeh in Balinese spice marinade, a boiled egg and a sprinkle of fried shallots.

So how do I prepare quinoa? Well first you gotta give it a good rinse to get rid of the bitter and soapy tasting saponin that coats quinoa. Most commercially bought quinoa have been rinsed but it doesn’t hurt to rinse it again, in case there are residues. Then I pop it into the rice cooker with one part quinoa to two parts of water. Cooked quinoa is puffed up, fluffy and the individual seeds will have little tails (they remind you like tiny tadpoles!). Since it’s bland, you can actually cook it in broth or milk. I prefer to cook them in water and season them when it’s cooked for savoury dishes or boil them in milk for breakfast porridge. Don’t be deterred by the price of a bag of quinoa: it costs substantially more than rice, but it becomes three times its size when it puffs up, so you’ll get plenty of serving out of a 500g bag! Besides, it fills you up so much, you’ll eat less of it. I have spent a whole eating mostly quinoa for my carbs, and I must say I feel lighter, so much less bloated and cleaner, healthier. It is a perfect substitute for rice and goes really well with Asian dishes. It soaks up the flavour, has the righ creamy and crunchy texture akin to white rice that is cooked just right!

What are you waiting for? Dig into this superfood, runners! More information on quinoa and why it should be a runner’s staple can be found here:

Quinoa (Livestrong.com)

Ten Foods You Should Eat Everyday (Runner’s World)

Have you tried quinoa? What do you think of it?

Thank you, Mish! My 12wbt reflection.

This one a looong overdue post.As some of you may know, I have done two rounds of Michelle Bridges’ 12 weeks body transformation. And that it is really this program that I need to thank for my newfound love (read: obsession!) for running. The 1st round of 2012, which was my second time doing this program, wrapped up about a month ago, and not they are two months away from kicking off the 2nd round of this year. So, for a few weeks now, I have contemplated long and hard as to whether I should take part in the next round. To sign up or not, that is the question!

I’ve written multiple posts about how fantastic this program is. And I am going to bore you with it again, haha! Regardless of what your fitness goals are, whether it is to lose weight, tone up or push the boundaries of your strength or endurance, or both, this program does the thinking for you in terms of meal planning, workout planning, tracking. You are plugged into a community of likeminded people bursting with enthusiasm, and best of all, you have the guidance of Michelle Bridges through videos, direct responses to your queries by her and her team. I swear, even if she was addressing the masses, Mish has a way to get into your head. It’s as if she’s speaking directly to you! Being part of 12wbt essentially means having Mish as your personal trainer.

As much as I loved being part of the program, there are a few things that made me reconsider my plan to join 12wbt for another round:

• GOAL WEIGHT: This is how it started. I wanted to get rid of the last 8-10 kgs of my baby weight. After two rounds, I can say that I have pretty much reached my goal weight; In fact, I am lost an extra 5 kgs on top of that so I am at my slimmest (and treading dangerously close to the lower thresh hold of a healthy BMI). Needless to say, I don’t need more weight loss. But have I introduced permanent changes to my lifestyle to help me maintain this weight? And help me tone up (and get rid of my flabby mummy tummy)? And help me reach my running goals?

• NEW LIFESTYLE: The essence of the 12wbt program is to help you introduce a healthy and fit lifestyle so the positive changes you achieve in your weight, look and fitness level are here to stay. Well, for me, the answer to the question above a resounding yes. I am confident that I have adopted a healthy lifestyle, both in terms of my diet and fitness. The program opened my eyes to the importance of calorie tracking and proper meal planning. And to the fact that clean and lean eating makes up 80% of your effort (who would’ve thought?)! But I also have a lot to thank my obsession for running for. I am eating healthier because I want to run better and faster. I watch my nutritional intake because I want to build my endurance and have enough energy for next day’s run. And I am fit because I run.

• SUPPORT: I have now surrounded myself with people who support me in my effort to reach my fitness and running goals. Many of them I have met through 12wbt (in fact, I will continue to be part of the fantastic local 12wbt group, the Capital Punishment Canberra crew). My 75 member strong mums group is another fantastic source of support. We have formed a “spin off” group comprising those who wants to support each other in their weight loss and fitness efforts. However, I derive much of my support for running from Twitter, Dailymile and a Jakarta-based virtual running group, Indorunners. It’s simply amazing how much support strangers are able to give to each other in less than 140 characters.

After being on the fence for weeks, I have today made up my mind that I won’t be joining another round and see if I can prevail without the guidance and support from 12wbt. I feel that I need to test put my new lifestyle and resolve to the test and see if I can “survive” without Mish as my personal trainer. I also intend to put the funds to other use (such as buying winter gear! Temperature is dropping fast and today on my long run the wind almost killed me). But I will review my progress after skipping this round and see if I need to rejoin for the third round (there are three rounds help each year).

The program gave me so many tools to work with. From healthy vegetarian recipes (yes, vegetarians eat crap, too), workout plans (as well as instructions on how to do each workout properly) to mindset lessons (that I have downloaded in form of an audio podcast and have since repeatedly listened to). I have adopted the habit of tracking; I track everything from food, calories, workouts–I think in a couple year’s time I have enough observations to crunch through STATA possibly for a multiple regression paper (ok, can you tell that I have a love and hate relationship with statistics and econometrics).

But on top of that, there are major mindset lessons from this program that will always stay with me and hopefully keep me on track. Mish has repeatedly mentioned this in her video messages/podcasts, and I have burnt them to memory (including her voice and facial expression when doing so! She terrifies and inspires me at the same time, how is that even possible?). I thought it would be neat to put what are, in my opinion, the top three 12wbt mindset lessons in a digital art collage. This is a way of me thanking Mish and 12wbt and hopefully this would also help me commit to them.

Thank you, Michelle Bridges. Thank you, 12wbt team.

Have you done 12wbt? What were the top lessons you gained from the program?